How To Start Long-Term Care Conversations Before It’s Too Late
Scott H. Tonai, CFP®
2 days ago
3 min read
Most families wait until an emergency to discuss long-term care. Here’s why starting earlier matters.
Earlier this week, our team hosted a discussion with Nursing Home Partners on long-term care planning. We talked about the different types of care available, the costs involved, and how families can begin navigating the process. You can watch the recording below.
One of the biggest takeaways for me was that most families begin these conversations during a crisis.
Often, it happens after a fall, hospital stay, or unexpected medical event. At that point, decisions need to be made quickly while emotions are running high. Families are left scrambling to find solutions that may not be ideal simply because there was little time to prepare.
If you are reading this during one of those moments, please know that resources are available and we are always happy to help point you in the right direction.
For most families though, this is a conversation that can begin long before care is needed.
Define Expectations Early
One thing I have been working on personally is becoming more aware of unspoken assumptions.
For example, Katie naturally assumes that if she cooks dinner, I will handle the dishes afterward. It’s an unwritten agreement that has become part of our routine. If I suddenly stopped doing the dishes, there would understandably be frustration because expectations were already established.
Families often carry similar unspoken assumptions when it comes to aging and care.
Parents may assume their children will eventually care for them because “that’s what family does.” Meanwhile, adult children may assume their parents would prefer to remain independent for as long as possible. Neither side may actually talk about what they want until a health event forces the conversation.
This became personal for my family recently as my grandparents began needing additional care. Fortunately, my dad and aunty were able to step in and help when the time came. But looking back, many of the emotional challenges and stress could have been reduced if expectations had been discussed earlier.
These conversations are not always easy, but they are meaningful.
Understand the Available Options
When many people think about long-term care, they picture the traditional nursing homes they have seen portrayed on television or in movies.
In reality, there are far more options available today than many people realize.
Some families prefer aging at home with the help of caregivers who assist with household tasks and daily care needs. Others may prefer a smaller residential setting or a larger assisted living community depending on their situation and preferences.
Here in Hawaii, there are also over 1,500 licensed foster homes on Oahu that provide care outside of a traditional assisted living facility.
Understanding what options are available ahead of time can make future decisions feel far less overwhelming.
Just Talk About It
Photo Credit | chokniti | Adobe Stock
Conversations around aging, long-term care, and end-of-life planning can feel uncomfortable. Because of that, many families avoid them altogether.
But avoiding the conversation does not avoid the decisions.
Having these discussions early is one of the most meaningful forms of planning a family can do. It allows everyone to better understand expectations, preferences, and available resources before emotions and urgency take over.
As with most areas of financial planning, the ability to plan ahead should not be taken for granted.
If you are unsure where to begin or simply want someone to help talk through the process, we are always happy to help.
Scott H. Tonai CFP®
Wealth Manager, Director of Retirement Plans
Investment advisory services offered through Andrews Advisory Associates LLC, a registered investment advisor. This blog is not meant to give investment advice. Before investing in any advisory product please carefully read any disclosure documents, including without limitation, the firm’s Form ADVs. The information herein is provided for informational purposes only, and does not constitute an offer, solicitation or recommendation to sell or an offer to buy securities, investment products or investment advisory services. Nothing contained herein constitutes financial, legal, tax, or other advice. These opinions may not fit your financial status, risk and return profile or preferences. Investment recommendations may change, and readers are urged to check with their investment adviser before making any investment decisions.
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