Today’s Happiness and Tomorrow’s Sorrow

When worrying about tomorrow takes away from today

2026 has been a lot for me.

The loss of my grandparents earlier this year had a profound effect on my family. I learned how to reconcile with terminal diagnoses, the grief that comes with loss, and the healing that comes from drawing others close.

In September, another loss came to my family. The loss of Daisy, our 14-year-old dog, came suddenly. Although she was getting older, she was still full of energy and love. Throughout her life, she was a source of joy and comfort to my family. Looking at her face could make the worst day a lot better.

Rest in Love, Daisy (2012-2026)

Even though I secretly hoped that she would live forever, I knew that her time with us was limited. I started to cherish every visit to my parents' house and every walk that I took with her. I realized that the days with her could be counted on my two hands instead of by the number of stars in the sky.

Something I regret was letting the thought of her passing away diminish the time I had left with her. There were times that I didn't visit her simply because the thought of losing her was too much.

The fear of the future can have a surprising impact on the decisions we make today.

At What Cost?

Reflecting on this, I think I was trying to protect myself. Perhaps creating some distance would make losing her easier. Maybe not seeing her as often would keep me from noticing that she was slowing down and getting older.

But now I know that protecting myself came at a cost.

Perhaps there was one more walk we could've taken or a few more games of fetch she could've attempted (before probably giving up after the second throw).

We come across this dilemma in other ways as well.

"I Knew It."

At the end of the day, I think sometimes we just want to be right. Especially when we're afraid of what the future might bring.

There's a strange comfort in expecting the worst. If it happens, at least we can tell ourselves, “I knew it.” Maybe anticipating the pain will somehow make it hurt less when it finally arrives.

But being right doesn't make the loss hurt any less.

We see this all the time in talk show guests calling for the next economic crash or tragic event. We also see it in smaller things, like our favorite team losing to a third-string quarterback on Monday Night Football.

We hedge our bets on tomorrow by trying to be right about how negative the future will be.

Daisy was going to pass one day. The stock market will experience another correction. There will be future calamities that we have to deal with.

Preparing for tomorrow is still important. I don’t think the answer is to ignore the future or pretend that difficult things won’t happen.

But there is a difference between preparing for tomorrow and living there.

The Value of Today

I would give a lot for one more walk with Daisy.

Not because I think one more walk would have made losing her any easier.

It wouldn't have.

I would want it because I now understand that avoiding tomorrow's sorrow never protected me from it.

It only took away some of today's happiness.

Scott H. Tonai CFP®

Wealth Manager, Director of Retirement Plans

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